Online Reflection 1 for Spring 2016 - Bad Things WILL Happen

Bad things are going to happen.

You’ll neglect to work out for the 14^th day in a row because you’re just too tired,

and you’ll decide to snack on Oreos and barbecue chips instead of carrots and hummus.

You’ll indulge and make the decision to stay up late and watch “New Girl”

and justify it with “you deserve it.”

You’ll be tired the next morning, so you’ll snooze your alarm, oversleep,

and then rush to school with greasy hair and wrinkled clothes.

Your students will notice your greasy hair and the dark circles

under your eyes, and they will not fail to point them out.

“Miss, you look tired today.”

Wow. Thank you. Just what I needed to hear.

You’ll think you have developed the perfect lesson,

and you’ll start to think nothing could  possibly go wrong.

But then,

everything,

and I mean everything,

will fall to pieces.

Students will yell across the room, leaning so far back on the legs of their chairs

that they are parallel to the ground.

They will ask you to repeat instructions that you have already repeated

that you have already repeated

that you have already repeated

three times,

and then they will go on to complete

absolutely

nothing.

You’ll feel defeated.

Like pursuing this profession was the worst decision you’ve ever made.

Like no matter what you do, it will never be enough.

You’ll continue to let these thoughts swarm your brain

until you feel like you’re just one misbehaved student away from giving up.

From quitting.

There’s a story of a man who encounters a girl on the beach,

throwing starfish into the ocean.

He asks why she is doing this, and she responds, “If I don’t throw them in, they will die.”

The man looks down the long stretch of sand covered in starfish and says “There are so many.”

“You cannot possibly make a difference.”

The girl looks up at the man, throws one more starfish into the ocean, and replies,

“It made a difference for that one.”

You’ll begin to realize that you’ve become the old man;

that you’ve neglected to realize how lucky you are to be in the position you’re in.

And with that, you’ll begin to rejuvenate yourself.

You’ll go back to the gym and remember how good it feels to run and sweat and work.

You’ll start to eat healthy, and begin to choose apples and carrots over cookies and chips.

You’ll start to appreciate all the individual quirks that your students have,

and learn how to accommodate them within in a classroom.  

And when you inevitably have a day where it feels like nothing went right

and no student learned a thing,

you’ll remember one positive student interaction you had and know

“It made a difference for that one.”